MILWAUKEE BREWERS
FANS ARE DRUNK & ROWDY
"LA MARCHE" TO CORPORATE WELFARE
The codeine-laced acetaminophen starts to ease my hangover as I exit the Métro station downtown.
A crisp Montréal autumn wind slaps me in the face. I throw on my tuque, zip up my jacket, pop my collar and blow on my hands. There is no gray 1991 Honda two-door yet on Rue St-Denis. Two red-eyed, tattooed young white guys hustle across the street and put a finger in my face.
“Hey my man, you know where we can get some E?” asks the tall, pimple-faced one as he polishes off an energy drink.
“Help us out brother, we just came in from Toronto last night on a bus,” says the chubby, mustached one.
“Can’t do it man,” I reply. “But good luck.”
My rideshare pulls up and the chubby one stumbles into the car. The driver glares at him. I ask if she is Natalie and she shoots back a confused look. She’s expecting to take three girls with her to Québec City. I tell her that my trip was planned at the last minute and I used a friend’s account.
I amble out of the Roadway Inn around 3:30pm and sunlight blasts my retinas, a painful reminder of the previous night's debauchery. The air is crisp and cool, posing no threat to my hangover and perfect for an evening ballgame. A few other guests drink Bud Light on the steps of the hotel.
A bald, beer-bellied, middle-aged man wearing a white Kentucky University polo shirt and blue jeans stands on the curb, sucking hard on his cigarette, chin high. He identifies himself as our cab driver.
"Where ya'll headed?" he asks with an unfamiliar twang.
"Downtown Cincinnati," I reply. "We're gonna check out that Oktoberfest before the baseball game."
"Oh boy. You know, it's pretty nasty over there. I personally don't spend much time across the river, overe there." He pauses to see if I know what the fuck he is talking about.
"Just more people with different colored skin on that side of the river, ya know? It's a shame they made it under that railroad," he says with a chuckle and greasy smile.
"Uh..."
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[This piece is an homage to "The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved" by Hunter S. Thompson.]